Blind Date

I went on a blind date on Tuesday. Why did I agree to one when there are tons of profile websites for people to upload their pics? I don’t know. Maybe the thrill of the unknown? Maybe because I like his stats? Maybe I am just slutty? Hehehe.

So we’re supposed to meet up at the McDonald’s at Masjid Jamek at 7pm. I got there at 6.30 because I only work a few stations away. So I waited patiently, which is something I don’t do because I really hate waiting. Lucky I brought my Buffy book so I killed time by reading that and eating some McNuggets.

When it was 7, I asked him where he was and he said he was nearby. He did not show up after 15 minutes. So I was thinking that he showed up, saw me and left. I did not wanna call and asked him again. Don’t wanna sound desperate. So I continued reading the book. Which was quite a stirring read because it is set in the third season, before Faith did a Vader and switched to the dark side.

Anyways, I got my nose out of the book and realized that it was 7.30 and he still was a no-show. That’s it. Just as I was about ready to storm out of that McDonald’s, one guy came and sat down at my table. Finally. Oh, by the way, deep inside of me, I was kicking his face and screaming “BITCH!!”

I am soooo Margaret Cho and pretty low standards and would normally just take the guy home and fuck the life out of him. Unfortunately he said he was a top and would not wanna be fucked in the ass. That, coupled with the barely cute factor and the fact that he was all too shifty-eyed, made me not wanna bring him home. Lucky for me the guy oozed confidence and just shrugged nonchalantly and said that he has other friends. With that, he sashayed out of McDonalds and I called Teddy and bitched to him about it.

Later that night, just as I was doing my nightly blog rounds, one guy who happened to live in the block next to mine wanted to come over. And Teddy told me how sorry he was that I would not be getting sex. Just as I told the guy to come over, another guy sent me SMS, wanting to come over. Hmmm, quite the conundrum. Which one do I wanna go for?

The former is short, balding, meaty and semi cute. The latter was tall, muscled and bald. Three guesses which one I chose. Correct. I went for the tall muscle Mary who is a bottom, which works for me. Told the other guy I suddenly had an elsewhere to be. Yeah, I know what you alls are thinking. Threesome. Nah. Wanted to enjoy Muscle Mary all to myself. We’ve met before and it was always hot.

I was in the middle of watching That’s So Raven (yeah, yeah, I watch Disney Channel, get over it…) when Muscle Mary showed up, looking all buffed up and fine…

Bangi Bangin' 2

I was like all “What the hell man?” coz I need my cutie sleep. I gotta work in the morning. I was fully hard now. I tried to make him stop but he still wanted to touch the hardness of me.

That’s it. I pushed him onto his stomach, put on a condom, lubed up and inserted myself into him. No tenderness. Just raw sex. I was half asleep but the warmth that enveloped me woke me up and I just fucked his brains out.

Half way through, I heard him say something again. This time, I heard it loud and clear. He wanted a position switch. That would mean an even longer fucking but I obliged. I turn him around, put his legs on my shoulder and fucked him in that position.

Now I can see his face. He was enjoying it. His face was contorted in pleasure and pain. I fucked him for a while until I realized that I needed sleep so I turned him around, on his stomach. I got on top of him and fucked him until I come.

After cleaning up, I tried to get some shut eye. But to no avail. The dude was still cuddly wuddly. And this time, he was grabby also. He was trying to grab my ass, as though telling me that he’d want some now. I totally went bitchy and slapped his hand away and told him that I really needed some rest coz I have to go to work in a couple of hours. He can have a go at my ass the next time we meet.

He seemed satisfied at the answer and left me alone the rest of the morning. When I say left me alone, I mean, he cuddled me all the way until he left in the morning. Argh!

Bangi Bangin'

Previously on Oxymoronic Existence…

Bangi Guy is back. He was in the area and wanted to meet me. It was a little over midnight but I was still awake so I told him to come on over.

He said that he was now based in Shah Alam, new place, new job, hence the quiet. He went to Tasik and did not get lucky so he thought he’d get lucky with me. I should have been pissed but it was late and I was horny. Okay, who am I kidding, I am always horny, and I remembered he was very good at the making out so I rolled out the red carpet for him.

Once he arrived, he went to freshen up. I was already in bed by that time. I asked if he wanted to spend the night and he said it would be nice because it was late to go back to Shah Alam.

So once that’s decided, he jumped into bed and we cuddled. He was extra horny because his hands immediately went down south. I pulled him on top of me and let him do his thing which he was really good at.

Did I mention that he was kinda short? He started by necking me. I love necking. Yes, I have a vampire fetish. Then, he went down to my nipples. Ooh, expert tongue. He licked me all over before he settled for my cock and he gave me a long drawn out blowjob.

After a while, I pull him off of me and got on top of him. I repeated what was done to me, but I added a slight twist. I licked down there and inserted a finger. He seemed to know what I want and asked for a condom. The last time we did it, he topped me and said that he could only take a cock in his ass for a few minutes only. Heh, he was not getting a cock in his for a few minutes only…

I lubed him up and inserted my cock. He moaned. I push through and stayed still for a while, letting him get used to the intruder. Once I felt him relax, I start to pump in and out. After a while, I heard him saying something but it was more like a raspy whisper. I did not hear him so I continued fucking his ass until I came.

After the clean up, we settled in and started to drift off to sleep. Unfortunately, the guy was a cuddler and he kept his paws on me the whole time. It was kinda warm, my room not air-conditioned and all, so it kinda bothered me and I did not really get to sleep much. In the end, I drifted to sleep. Finally. It was like 4 in the morning and I have to wake up in the morning to go to work.

Just I was about to drift into dreamland and meeting up Hugh Jackman, I felt a stirring. A great stirring that forced me to open my eyes. His hands were kneading and fondling my cock to life…

to be continued...

A New Man

I was surfing the Net Sunday night, on the prowl for some sort of adventure. I was bored. Okay, bored and horny. But the prowling was a bit unsuccessful so I left the laptop alone and watched TV.

During one commercial break, I checked up on my messages and got a hit from Guys4Men. Not a bad looking guy. So we exchanged messages for a while. I did not know what he wanted because he did not say what kind of guy he likes.

After a few messages, he said he was going offline so I just give my phone number in case he’s free to meet up or something. He replied saying that he was free that night and wanted to meet at my place. Good first sign eh?

I gave him directions and came right over. He lives in Tun Razak so it was not a problem for him to come to my place, even if it was 11 o’clock at night. Once he arrived, we sat down on the couch and talked. He was quite cute, slightly taller than me and smelled nice. Once we got to talking, he actually reached out and grabbed my belly. So now I know he likes em round.

We talked and he said he wanted to lie down. He put his legs up on the couch and maneuvered so that I would be in between his legs. Oh dear God.

His legs were so nice and warm and hairy. He actually had a nice body. Not too slim but not too flabby either. Just right. I just touched his thighs a bit and massaged here and there. I don’t know why but I was such a blushing virgin that night. Maybe it was because I was smitten. Heheheh.

He finally reached for my hand and put it on his crotch. Okay, I got the green light. So I began to feel up the groin, all the while getting a hard on myself. I opened his pants and underwear and saw the weapon. Nice. Has a slight downward hook. He undressed me and I started by licking his nipples.

Then I moved up to the neck. I guess it was a sensitive area because he tried to move away from my tongue but I persisted and he relented to the tongue assault. Then I went back to work on the nipples. He pushed me up until my chest meets his face and he licked my nipples while trying to reach for my ass.

Guess that means he is a top then. I was a little hesitant because I was not sure if my ass could take another fucking since I got that rough fucking Friday night. But he made me sat doggy style while he ate my ass. And, boy, did he eat it well. Top notch really. I hadn’t been eaten like that since… well, since last year. Hhehehe.

After we got everything ready, he tried penetration and I tried relaxing. The first time he went in was painful. After one or two jabs, his cock got out. The second time he stuck it in, it felt a bit okay and I could relax a bit. Then it got out again. So he turned me on my back, put my legs on his shoulders and inserted himself again. This time it was not painful. He even licked my nipples while pushing in and out of me.

It felt pretty good. He sooo was not rough and I guess he found my prostate because it felt great. When he stopped moving, I ground my ass. Yup, it was that good. When he came, he licked my nipples and tried to jack me to cum. Unfortunately, I don’t cum that way so I told him to stop it and just hug me. He remained in me all the while. Again, it felt soooo good.

After that, we both cleaned up. He hung out with me, listening to songs and we talked and we surfed the Net together. Sigh. It was quite a nice evening. Making me more smitten with him. Dayyymnnn.

Weekend Update - Bite Me!

It's Saturday nite. I am home alone. The crew's not hanging. I had an activity this morning and then later in the afternoon. The second activity is very different, very kinky, very fetish. Vampyre Fetish.

My neck will be purple as an eggplant tomorrow! I am told ice helps... :P


It doesn't really hurt...

Rough Cut Part 3

Okay, fine. He said he was close. So I laid on my back near the edge and let him do his thang. He kept trying to place his hands near my neck. Is he trying to choke me? That’s new. I don’t think I’d like to do that though.

I think it was a good fifteen minutes of pumping before I realize that he was not going to cum any time soon. I almost reached up and choked him myself! I simply could not take it anymore so I told him to hurry it up or I am gonna close shop.

He asked me to turn around and had me bending over the bed. He continued the ass onslaught and kept on trying to get me to part my legs wider and wider. With the bed between my legs, it had started to hurt.

I kept counting until 50. If he had not come still, then it’s over. I was ready to backhand him off of me. Lucky for him, he came and got off me. He went into the shower and cleaned up. The condom was so bloated. Apparently he had not done it for a while now. Whatever. Get out of my way! I wanna clean up!

Once I was done, he was already lying in bed, heading towards snoresville. I had not cum yet but then again, I could only do so in a certain way so I just climbed into bed. Barely an hour later, my ass started to sting. A lot. I could not even lie properly. I barely got any sleep that night. And I had to skip out on bowling with my friends because it hurt like crazy.

But I did get to return the favor though. At about 5 in the morning, I was awakened by extreme pain and a hard on. I sidled up to him and pressed my hard on against his underwear covered ass. Once I found his asshole, I pressed hard against it. He moaned. But did not protest. So, Mr Pure Top must have taken a ride on the Cockwarts Express before.

He told me to go get the lube and condom so that it would not hurt much. You bet your ass I am going to hurt you! I lubed him and myself and penetrated his tight ass. He moaned loudly this time. But I figured he liked it rough and he did not even tell me to stop. So I did what he did to me. Ass onslaught of the hardened cock kind. His moaning and thrashing about wildly kinda turned me on so I gave it to him good. When I came, I took care and slowly extracted myself. He went to the second toilet and I cleaned up in the toilet in the room. Finally able to fall asleep after that…

Rough Cut Part 2

He sheathed himself and lubed my hole. I was a bit hesitant because it has been a while since I was butt fucked and dude had a huge dick. He got himself ready and penetrated me. It was a bit tough to insert it at first but he managed.

It hurts like nobody’s business but I just gritted my teeth. He started to do his thang and push in and out of my hole. Boy, he was not gentle either. I was getting the pounding of my life and it hurt like hell.

He kept switching my leg positions. First he wanted over the shoulders. Then he just wanted one on the shoulder. And he kept fiddling with his position. What he did not know is that it was hurting me like hell. I tried telling him but I think he was in his own little world.

Damn. He liked it rough. He was throwing me around like a rag doll. It must have been close to an hour before he lets up. I told him I could not take it anymore and that it hurt like hell. He insisted it was hurting me because my own dick was not up. I replied that my dick was not up because it hurts like hell. Hmm…

So after that toilet break, he still wanted to fuck me. He positioned me at the foot of the bed. My ass was so sore already. I just hope he’d spurt soon enough. But apparently he was not going to anytime soon. He kept trying to get my dick up and I kept swatting his hand away and told him to just concentrate on cumming.

Even at the edge of the bed, he was not being gentle. He kept on changing my leg position and tossing me around on the bed. After a while, I had to push him off and he begged for me to let him finish….

Meme Me

Fable Frog tagged a ‘friend’ of mine and now it’s my turn. These would be eight random saucy facts about me. Heheheh. Although I think some of these had been said in the past, but it is a brand new start to a brand new day so...

Random Saucy Fact #1
I lost my virginity at the ripe old age of 21.

I was studying in PJ at that time. I was just introduced to the wonders of IRC. Got chatted up by a guy and said he wanted to come over coz he was bored alone at home. I did not mind so the guy came over.

He then confessed that he was actually there to fulfill a fantasy. Getting fucked in the ass by a meaty guy. I told him I was a virgin and would not even know what to do and he said he’d teach me.

He undressed and got on all fours and asked me to fuck him immediately. I looked at his ass and as inviting as that was, I could not get it up. So, he asked me to lie down on my back while he got me hard using his hands and tongue. Then he climbed on top of me and sat down on it. He rode me hard. It actually hurt a little bit. For me. Maybe coz it was my first time.

After a while, he got tired and asked me to fuck him doggy style. He said to just move my hips back and forth. Easy. So I did. And then we changed positions. And again. And again. And again.

Apparently, just as I lost my virginity, I also gained a new superpower. The ability to last long. I kept drilling him while he just took it moaning and groaning with pleasure. Unfortunately, he had an elsewhere to be (picking up a relative or something) so we had to stop.

That guy did not knew it back then but he had unwittingly unleashed a sexual beast onto an unsuspecting world…

Random Saucy Fact #2
I am lucky that most of the guy I’d met was more than willing to let me stick it in, even though they claim to be pure tops.

I fucked this one guy (an apparent virgin) doggy style and made him cum without him touching himself.

Random Saucy Fact #3
I’ve never been to any of the saunas

Random Saucy Fact #4
I am a closet voyeur/exhibitionist. I love to tape myself having sex or tape someone else doing things to me. Heheheh. And no Fable Frog, I am shy to show those tapes off.

So far, I have gotten 5 people that allowed me to take videos and/or pictures during our bedroom romps.

Random Saucy Fact #5
I’m a bit of a daredevil, enjoy the adrenaline rush of having sex at a public place. Restrooms at country clubs or restaurants, cinemas or even bookstores. Okay, so it was just discreet gropings at the bookstore but still count right? Coz it’s public and someone could have walked in on us at any given time.

Random Saucy Fact #6
I am deeply romantic (ehehehe) and prefers long, steamy, passionate kissing than a wild romp in the hay but unfortunately, it is really hard to find someone who wants to kiss for more than one minute and I just have to settle for the fucking…

Random Saucy Fact #7
My first threesome happened by accident. I was tricked into it. Tipah tertipu bang, tipah tertipu!

I was supposed to be meeting this Singaporean Guy who had a big dick. He was staying at a hotel in KL. I was already on my way to him when he said that there was another guy coming. I was appalled but I was almost there. I was living in PJ and took a cab. Oh, bear in mind that I was in my early twenties and was still kinda virginal and naïve.

So I put on a brave front and went forth to the hotel. I actually did not like that idea. What if the other guy is fugly? I mean, fuglier than me of course. What if he did not like me and just played with the Sg Guy? What if I am not as good as the other one and both of them refused to play with me? Sigh.

I always say that I’ll try anything once and I’ll try something new every now and again just so that my life won’t be too predictable… so I went. I saw, I did, I conquered and I came. Again, those two guys had no idea at the time, but they had a hand in unleashing the slut within the sexual beast and there’s no turning back. Once you go slut, you’d wanna have ass all the time. Skip table of content and head straight to the ass.

Random Saucy Fact #8
Six was the maximum number of guys I had played with at the same time AKA an orgy. Previously, I was stuck with just fourgy (ya know, sex with three other people).

There. Six random saucy facts about me. Now, I gotta sit back and wait for the judgments to come pouring in…

Rough Cut Part 1

I went on a date with one of the guys that messaged me from Bearforest. I had been communicating with him for a couple of months now but we never did meet up because he was busy working.

He had a day off last week so we planned to meet up and he’d bring me back to his place to spend the night. We met at KL Sentral and he brought me to Midvalley. We had dinner at Piccolo Mondo and then we caught a Chinese movie. Nice movie.

Anyways, after that, we went back to his place and had burgers before we adjourned to the bedroom. It’s our first time meeting and the guy’s extra chatty. I don’t mind listening. Then, he started getting closer and closer to me, until his hands started getting up close and personal. After almost ripping my clothes off, he started to play with my nipples.

I got the feeling that he was a biter. It was confirmed when he bit me on the neck several times. Ooh, vampire fantasy coming true. It was nice. Hehhehe.

I threw him off of me and climbed on top of him. I saw him reaching for something. I ignored him and went down on him. He was moaning and moaning. Especially at the part where I used my teeth a bit. Yup, he has a slightly similar fantasy as mine.

I got tired of having a dick in mouth so I went and teased the balls with my tongue. Again, he was moaning. I almost made it to the ass but I refrained. The moan response I got from the licking of the balls was enough. When I surfaced to take a breather, he shoved me onto my back and said that he was going to fuck me.

He did not even wait for me to say anything. He lifted my legs up and reached for the condoms and lube…

Three's Company Part 2

Argh! Yup, it was frustrating! No one wanted to tell me what they wanted to be. They just kept saying that they don’t mind. Don’t mind what? I asked ‘top’, I got a ‘don’t mind’ answer. I asked ‘bottom’, got the same answer. Dammit.

Maybe I should just fuck them both then. But I am not a mean gurl. So I asked them again nicely. Since both just shrugged. I put on my rings and said “Wonder Twin powers, activate! Form of… Dominatrix! Shape of… Whip!” Heheheh, kidding.

But I took charge and told the Cute Mixed Guy to go ahead and prep his cock to fuck my FB. I also told him that I’d be fucking him after he was done fucking the FB. Both of them agreed. Did not object was more accurate I guess.

While Cute Mixed Guy was sheathing his cock, I nibbled on FB’s nipple which I knew would drive him crazy. I stopped and watched as Cute Mixed Guy raised both of FB’s legs to gain access to his asshole. FB moaned as he was being penetrated. I watched the action from in between Cute Mixed Guy’s legs. Looks good. I kinda wanted to grab my camera and film it but I did not wanna freak them out. So I just settled for watching instead. Real live porn. Nice.

After a while, Cute Mixed Guy collapsed off of FB. He wanted me to fuck him, even though he has not spurted yet. I got myself ready and turned him over and penetrated. Nice. We kissed while I was fucking him and the FB was playing with my backside. Once I came, I kissed him and FB and went to the toilet to clean up.

While I was peeing, Cute Mixed Guy came into the toilet. No, not for a golden shower moment. Actually I don’t know why he came in. He started kissing me. Lucky I was done with peeing, if not he’d have himself a real golden shower right there. He asked if he could take a shower. I redirected him to the bathroom and went back to the room to take a towel.

I found FB all dressed up. Hey, wait a minute. Both of them had not climaxed and yet, they’re both getting ready to leave. Weird. I asked him why he was all dressed up when we’re not quite finished. He said that he was satisfied with the ass plowing that he’d gotten. And Cute Mixed Guy also said the same thing so I let them get ready and let them leave. But not before kissing Cute Mixed Guy at the door. FB said it was cute and sweet. Do I detect a tinge of jealousy? Maybe not. But I know that these two get along and they can play together so my mind already begun planning future romps.

Three's Company Part 1

One of my FBs recently resurfaced. Apparently, he was busy with work and had been outstationed for work. He sent me a message asking if I would still want to play and he asked if I still organize orgies.

I’ve never really organized a full-on orgy. Maybe a threesome here and there. The last time I had a threesome, he was one of the attendees. I guess he liked it so he wanted to join again. So I reached out to my stash of guys, trying to find someone who wants to play and someone who’s free.

I don’t mind setting it up because he wanted to play with me as well as the other guys. Some other guys kept asking me to set some thing up for them but if there’s no one available, they’d never wanna play with just me. Completely and blatantly using me for my connections. Pissing me off.

Anyway, I found one guy from Maluri who’d want to join us. The Maluri guy is not Malaysian. Quite cute. Mixed. Since he does not have transportation, he came via LRT. I took him to my place and we had dinner while watching TV. The FB was kinda late. I did not really mind because it was a Thursday and my fave comedies, My Name is Earl and 30 Rock was on.

Once 30 Rock was over, and the FB arrived, I brought them to the bedroom to get things going. Unfortunately, the Mixed Maluri Guy was a bit shy. Maybe it was his first time. The FB and I got naked and he started to lick my body. Mixed Guy was still unsure but he insisted he was into when I asked. So I told him to take it slow and easy. I kissed him to calm his nerves. Great kisser, really. So I concentrated on the kissing while the FB was sucking me hard.

I hope the FB won’t take offense because I kept smooching the cuter guy and not him. I guess he did not mind because he appeared to be content having my dick in his mouth. After a while, when they got used to each other’s presence, they started to play with each other. While still servicing me of course. Hehehehe. Now this is what I call a threesome.

After the furious make out, we all lied down breathlessly. Everyone’s dicks were up and hard. This was the most difficult moment out of any sex gathering. Who’s going to be the bottom?

To be continued…