We interrupt this blog for a special rant. I had only recently resumed posting back here. I guess I felt that I still have stories to share. The reason I stopped blogging was because I felt that I was being controlled by the desire to have fun just so that I’d have something to blog about. Which is kinda not fun.
Also, because some friends of mine could barely distinguish me from my Oxymoronic Existence persona. To the casual reader, I might come off as a raging homo slut. Oh, who am I kidding, I am a raging homo slut. But to the people who knows me IRL, I would like to think there’s more to me than just Slutty Sluttenstein. Sometimes I am Prudence McPrude. Hey, I can be Prudence McPrude! Stop snickering!
My point is… I am not just about sex. Sometimes it’s about foreplay too. Or hotness. Heheheh. Kidding. I’ve asked my friends this question. Am I just about sex? Is that the sole purpose of me being created in the world?
Some friends think that I am just a slut and nothing else. And these are friends who I met kinda regularly. Sigh. Makes me feel feeble. Makes me feel like I am nothing. Spam. A waste of space. Although I’ve learned a long time ago to stop caring about what people think and just live my life but the sting is still there.
One friend don’t even keep in touch with my person but reads this blog regularly and found fit to keep quoting from the blog when we do met up in person. I was kinda disappointed at that. More so because we’ve spent a lot of time together and I still came off as just a slut to him that I am incapable of anything but sex. Sigh.
So I stopped blogging here for a while. Something happened in my life that made me reassess everything and I went back to blogging here just because writing about my sexcapades give me a happy. I got it out of my system. Anything that I did not like or anything that I like, everything’s dealt with and there’s no emotional baggage left inside.
Unfortunately, it happened again. This time, other people joined in on the action. So I guess I am just a slut and nothing more. Sigh. I know the fact that I am letting the whole world knows of my adventures does not help but is it really hard for people to fathom that Holden is just one aspect of me? Holden is the sexual being who loves to write about sex. I am not trying to paint myself into a slutty corner here. I am just writing about my experience. Just wish people would realize that a blog does not represent everything about one person entirely. Only what he or she chooses to reveal.
That being said, I hope others whom I’ve hung out with don’t really see me as just a slut. Just like Musang who insists that he is a bitch but I’ve hung out with him and he is quite a sweet little bitch, I mean girl. A couple of years back, I was involved in a social group and I was kinda briefed about a lot of people in the circle. People I haven’t met and people I don’t really know. After I met them, I realized that the picture painted about them is not entirely true. Some maybe true but mostly not really. And these people are far more than the image that I had of them. I guess I am blessed to have the ability to distinguish a PR stunt and reality. Certain people don’t really have a thing for golden showers and they do not need to buy friendship by piling on Starbucks beverages but certain people do spend their time at the saunas, on their knees. Ya know, stuff like that there.
Anyways, as disappointed as I was, I guess there really is no way around this. Some people just can’t get over the image they have in their heads about someone, even after getting to know them. Some people obsess a little too much over some sex stories. Okay, I am done. We're now back to our regularly scheduled sex posts...
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