The One That Got Away

*am trying something new - no smut*

I haven't had a lot of relationships (which I guess is quite good for this blog yes?). Yes, I've fallen in love before and either I got my heart stabbed right at the beginning or I get dumped...

Anyways, there was this one guy... I had always been attracted to him and I am still wondering until today whether he was attracted to me or not... bear in mind, this was during my awkward phase when I had low self esteem and did not like myself AKA not a slut yet...

His name was Nicolas. He was a German foreign student at USC. He came for his MBA in 2002, the year I graduated. However, me without my working permit, I decided that it would be more fun hanging out at campus and helping out with orientation. It wasn’t Nicolas that I first noticed.

I first noticed Thomas, another German student, which is another story altogether. However, as it were, I was flirting with Thomas on the first day of orientation when Nicolas suddenly came up to us and joined in on the conversation. I thought it was slightly odd. I had only seen him once before at the International Office but he was always flanked with two other Germans.

There was also that one time, during one of the orientation speeches that I was helping out with that I noticed Nicolas looking at me. It threw me off slightly that a hot guy would be looking my way with his legs spread wide open and I could see his inner thighs. By the way, Nicolas was so my type. Tall, blond and European. Makes me hot and bothered just thinking about it.

Of course there this one time he sang to me while everybody else was on the campus tour. I noticed he was looking at me, although he probably did not think I would because he was wearing shades. Unfortunately for him, his back was facing the sun so the light made the shades transparent. I could totally see him mentally undressing me with his eyeballs. Okay, so I made up that part. A girl can dream.

Also, at the moment, I was fixated with the boy with huge crotch that I never really gave it a second thought. I think I had this fantasy that I guy I’m pining for should pine back and I really did not give anyone else a chance for some pining action.

Anyway, Nicolas said he’s had the campus tour when he visited in July. It was a response to my statement: “Maybe you should listen to what they’re saying,” instead of lingering near me and mentally undressing me. So, that was when I started chatting him up since Thomas was nowhere near my sight.

Also, had to admit that my heart did beat slightly faster when Nicolas was standing close to me. I stuttered right through some of the questions. When he said he enjoyed singing, I asked him what kind of songs does he do. He replied anything. With one eyebrow raised, I dared him, “Even Whitney?” He shrugged and answered, “Mariah too.” Woah! Could he be any gayer?

So he proceeded to sing because I put on my nonchalant/non-believer face on. He sang to me. A Whitney song! I don’t exactly remember what it was but no one has ever sung to me before. I so enjoyed being serenaded.

After that serenade, we parted ways but met up again for the International Student Dinner. I arrived early, in my faux leather/PVC pants and was chatting up a storm with the other students and catching up. Then he breezed into the lounge and promptly left his flanks and caught up with me.

I was talking to this one Thailand guy and he joined in the conversation. I found out quite a lot about this guy. He’s one of those outdoorsy guys, very into rock climbing and stuff like that. He has one of the biggest feet I’ve seen since Ronald McDonalds! It was a size 15! Mine were only 12 and the Thailand guy’s were 13. I’ve heard about people with big hands and feet have big… brains.

He spent the entire night with me. We played pool and table tennis and ate together too. That was actually one of the last times I saw him for more than 10 minutes. After that, I got a job up in Colorado Springs and I did not see him for months. I finally saw him again three weeks before I left the States for home.

I had quit my job then and went to the university to catch up with old friends and enemies. I went to the International Student Club meeting and he was there as well. At the end of the meeting, both him and I were lingering around the International Office. Finally, I mustered enough courage to ask him out but he beat me to the chase.

He asked if he could play table tennis with me, if I was free. I told him I was free but I have three more weeks left before I had to leave the States. So we went and played for an hour. I asked him if he wanted to go bowling or something. He said he’d consider it. I gave him my number. Lo and behold, he called me and we went bowling.

I was ecstatic. I mean, it’s not like this guy was lacking friends and yet he chose to go out with me. One bowling date became two and the next thing I know we were having suppers and dinners together and we even went and saw a movie. My last ever night in the States was a Tuesday night, which was also a bowling night.

I told Nicolas about it when we were bowling the week before and he said he might be busy with papers. I was resigned to the fact that I would not be seeing him after that night. I was so surprised that he called me and took me bowling again. He said he was busy but he still would make time for me because it was my last night. We said goodbye after that because I might not see him tomorrow.

I did see him the next day at the university. I went to say goodbye to everyone and he showed up as well. He grabbed my head from behind and in front of everyone, he ruffled my do. Dayyyymn, not the do! Anyway, we chatted for a while until he had to leave for a class. He extended his hand and I shook it. He wanted to let go but I firmly gripped it, to not let him go. He looked confused at first. Then, he gripped my hand back.

After a couple of minutes, I let go but he did not. He held on to me for another 10 minutes. Just us guys, holding hands for all the world to see. Then, he smiled and let me go and walked away. Everyone had coy smiles plastered on their faces looking at me. That was the last I saw/heard of Nicolas. Looking back, I wished I had the guts to approach him way back when, as opposed to when I had the expiration date looming... maybe we could've been something... sigh...