The Pacemaker

Okay. I officially need to find some other way to open a post. I keep using “I was chatting…”. I even started out this post with that line. Oh, I have used a different line for the opening for this post. Yay me!

It’s all the same. Started out with chatting, exchanging pics, then numbers, then flirting via SMS. After that, wait for the time when both are free, then meet it up (homage to Teddy) for some fun.

Normally, there’d be several discrepancies with that scenario coz we’re all human so not everyone can stick to a plan. Anyways, this guy’s photo in Manjam was not exactly forthcoming. As in it’s a wide shot with him smack in the middle of it but you can’t see anything much, except that he is bald and tall.

Okay, I guess tall is good enough. Plus he said he was a bottom. Yay! Had my fill of tops ever since I got roughed up that one time. At least for now. Hehehe.

Tall Guy from Ampang said that he’d be free on Sunday. It turned out that he had the company Family Day in PD on Saturday and he was driving back on Sunday. Straight to my place. I kinda feel bad because he’s gonna be tired from the event and also from the drive but he insisted on coming over.

After a brief stint of getting lost and going into a different apartment complex, he finally arrived. He is indeed tall. Me likey. Kinda cute. Did not look as old as he really was. So we hung out in the media room while he catch his breath and I finish up watching FRIENDS for Monica and Chandler’s wedding.

A bit of cuddling here and there. A bit of groping. Screw the wedding. Tall Guy wanted some. We hugged and he commented on how huggable I was. He likey. I started out by kissing his cheeks. The ones on the face lar! Haiyo.

Then I tried kissing him on the lips, coz some guys don’t like to kiss. He kissed me back so we just kissed in each other’s arms for a while. He is a good kisser. Me likey. When he took off his shirt, I saw that he has this prominent scar down the middle of his chest. I had thought that it was a battle scar or scar from an accident or something. I certainly was not going to stop making out because of it.

But then I saw something at the back of his shoulder. Made me kinda wanna stop. It was like a mole. Really big mole. And very hairy. It looked like a map of Pahang. I kept the shuddering to a minimum. As long as I don’t touch it and as long as he did not rub it all over me, then I’m fine.

I brought him to my room and we started making out in the bed. He had taken off his jeans by now. I also noticed that his cock was hard but his underwear was not tenting. Oh well, as long as my cock is in his mouth, I should not really bother with the details.

Once he was done with the blowjob and I was hard as hell, I got on top and started doing my thang. I licked and sucked at his neck and ears. Yes, yes, I love necking. And lucky for me, this guy did not do necks because my neck was still sore…

Then, I went on and worked the nipples. Flicking my tongue over them, and sometimes gently and teasingly bite on them. Once I arrived at the groin area, I ripped off his underwear and got the shock of my life. Dude was packing some serious firepower. Lucky for me he was a bottom. I know I could not take him if he were to fuck me in the ass. His cock was formidable. Kinda long, about 7 inches. I have taken bigger but his cock was thick. Extremely. At least 3 inches wide. I am not kidding. Monster Cock Guy will be his name from now on.

So I tried taking it in the mouth. Obviously I could not. So I did my best and just licked the shaft, instead of taking it in the mouth. I started licking the balls and he moaned and even arched his back. So I worked hard at them balls and as I inch closer and closer down there, his moans get louder. He lifted his legs to give me better access and I went down on him.

He asked me to fuck him after getting him sufficiently wet. He did not ask me to lube up at all. The spit would do fine. It was not entirely true. Penetrating required a bit of force but he had already put his long legs on my shoulders so I did what I had to. For his part, he kept moving his butt as to accommodate my intrusion.

Once I was completely in, he was the one who started to move his ass. I got the hint so I gave him the fucking that he wanted. His hands reached around and grabbed my ass and forcefully pulled me towards him, not wanting my cock to slide out of his ass and wanting it to be buried deeper and deeper.

I obliged of course. After a while, the passion haze started to dissipate. I guess I was close to climaxing. Then it happened. I heard ticking noises. Like a clock. But there was no clock in my room. Then it dawned on me that the scar might have been from a surgery and Monster Cock Guy might have had a pacemaker. The thought scared me a little bit coz we might overdo it and the pacemaker might get shorted out or something. How would I handle that? Electrocute him?

But the guy was oblivious and completely in euphoria. He kept on moving his ass. That shook me out of my stupor and I continued on fucking him. I felt an orgasm coming. It was weird because I was not in my normal position. I came and stopped. He wrapped his long legs around me and started masturbating the monster. I was still hard so I moved deep inside him while he reaches climax. He came all over his stomach and I went to the toilet for the usual cleanup-and-toss-condom bit that I do.

He left the flat later, still alive and pacemaker still working. Guess I could cross doing a pacemaker-ed guy off my people to do before I die list…

Suddenly Three

I was chatting with this one guy from Hartamas. Um, notice how most of my stories would begin with “I was chatting”? This is how I mostly get my sexploits from… :P

Where was I? Oh yeah, Hartamas guy. He did not give me his photo but he apparently liked what he saw so he wanted to stop by. He mentioned that he is fit because he is an amateur sports player so he works out a lot. Sure, why not. It’s been a while since I did a sports star. Okay, I’ve never done a sports star before.

So I went home (this was when I’ve not subscribed to Maxis Bareback, I mean, Broadband) and got me some dinner and waited. Actually I did not really wait coz sometimes people would say they were coming but they never showed. So I just watched TV and chilled.

He called half an hour later and said that he would be slightly late because he had to drop off his mom at the train station and then pick up a friend. Picking up a friend? To meet me? Well, was I unwittingly getting myself into another threesome? Seemed like it.

So I waited downstairs for them to show up and brought them up to my place. The sports guy was decent enough, kinda cute, definitely fit. Okay, except for the slight beer belly, he seemed fit. The other guy, a Chinese, is kinda short. Definitely not as cute as the sports guy.

So once we were in the living room, I popped in a porno flick, at the request of the sports star. He then immediately stripped and prompted us to do so also. After fondling each other, we sat and watched the porn. I got the feeling that the Chinese guy was not really into me. I guess that’s okay coz I was not really into him. So both of us kinda avoided touching each other. Wait, I think the Chinese guy was not really into it all because he just sat there and kept fiddling with his phone.

The sports guy had to service us both and kept insisting that we should touch each other. My phone then rang so I had to go and answer it. Saved by the phone eh? When I returned, the sports guy had already jerked the Chinese guy into spurting. Btw, the Chinese guy had a very thick dick. Not long but massive.

So once the Chinese guy was done, it was just the two of us. Sports guy asked what I wanted to do and I just smiled. He seemed to get me and said that he did not mind. He asked me to get the condom. He put it on me and bent over for me to penetrate him. I wanted to tell him that we should have gotten some lube first but he was too insistent on being butt fucked that he could not wait. Besides, the condom was kinda lubed. He insisted that it should be fine.

I forced my cock into him, as the lube was not enough. He moaned. Painfully. After I finally got all the way in, he asked me to take it out because it had hurt. Duh. Just as I was about to try again, he said he could not take it. I told him there was no lube. That was why it hurt. True enough, when I took the condom off, it was dryer than the Sahara. He insisted that we just jerk off coz it was too painful. So I jerked him off until he came and they both got cleaned up and left. The sports guy said that he’d want to come again but I highly doubt it. My gut was right. I never heard from him again. Oh well, his loss…

Blind Date 2

I brought him to the TV room and he asked if could put on some porn. We watch a DVD about sexual harassment at the work place (courtesy of Teddy) and I nuzzled up against him. I let my hands roam all over his muscles and found that he was already hard. He then started to play with my nipples.

I took his clothes off and we started necking. Okay, okay, I started necking him. I remembered that he loved it and he has a thing about his ear being licked so I teased him ever so much with my tongue. Then, I worked on his nipples while rubbing his hard cock.

After a while, I got bored and decided it was time for me to get some lovin’ so I lied down and pulled him on top of me. I am such a dominatrix! Who would have thought?

Anyways, he started necking me. Maybe necking is not the actual thing. It was more lick one lick then just rest face on neck while breathing heavily kinda thing. But he did work proficiently on my nipples so he was forgiven for the lame necking.

He worked on em for quite a while too. After that, I led him to the bedroom where we got completely naked. He went down on me while I fingered his ass. He said that the last time he had sex was with me last year. I did not believe him but for the sake of having that hot mouth on my cock, I nodded and he went back to sucking my cock. I continued fingering him until he maneuvered his ass out of my reach. But he kept on sucking though. Good boy!

When he got tired, he lied down and I decided to loosen him up for the fucking. I lied on top of him and started with the tongue tease of the ears and neck. Then I work my way down to the nipples and soon I had his cock in my mouth.

I licked his balls for a bit before attacking the nipples again. A brief tease of the ears and neck and I am back sucking his cock. As soon as he sounded like he was about to cum, I stopped sucking his cock and began licking the balls. Soon after, I started going for the underside of them balls. Drove him crazy. The further down I went the higher he arched his back and moaned.

I took his legs onto my shoulder and kissed him, teased the neck and ear and licked the nipples. Then I licked his cock. I took a hold of his legs and started to lick the area between his ball sack and asshole. He arched his back even more. The moaning was non-stop now, especially when I bit it gently. Then I gave it a tongue lashing which drove him wild. Once my tongue found its way to his asshole, he went completely wild. I just kept at it until I felt that he was ready to let me in.

I asked him if I could fuck him and he told me to get the condoms and lube. He did not have a preference for position so I told him my favorite position and he went for it. I lubed his asshole with my finger and he tensed a bit. I just applied lube and slight pressure with my fingers, then I lubed my condom-covered cock. I mount him and tried to go in slowly. He moaned as my cock head went in but he was quiet when I pushed everything in, slowly.

Once I got settled in, I asked if he was okay and he said he was. So I started the whole fucking thing. He moaned with every movement. His body was so hot, literally. Nice and tight. I kept kissing his neck from behind and teased the ears every now and again. Once I came, I collapsed on top of him. He kissed my hand and I kissed his neck. He said that I am good and that my cock is nice. Aw, shucks…

I went to the toilet to flush down the condom and clean up. He was still lying in bed. I asked if I could take his picture naked. No face. Just body. He finally relented and I got some great body shots. Yay! More for my collection. He said he’ll call me for another session before he had to leave town.

Blind Date

I went on a blind date on Tuesday. Why did I agree to one when there are tons of profile websites for people to upload their pics? I don’t know. Maybe the thrill of the unknown? Maybe because I like his stats? Maybe I am just slutty? Hehehe.

So we’re supposed to meet up at the McDonald’s at Masjid Jamek at 7pm. I got there at 6.30 because I only work a few stations away. So I waited patiently, which is something I don’t do because I really hate waiting. Lucky I brought my Buffy book so I killed time by reading that and eating some McNuggets.

When it was 7, I asked him where he was and he said he was nearby. He did not show up after 15 minutes. So I was thinking that he showed up, saw me and left. I did not wanna call and asked him again. Don’t wanna sound desperate. So I continued reading the book. Which was quite a stirring read because it is set in the third season, before Faith did a Vader and switched to the dark side.

Anyways, I got my nose out of the book and realized that it was 7.30 and he still was a no-show. That’s it. Just as I was about ready to storm out of that McDonald’s, one guy came and sat down at my table. Finally. Oh, by the way, deep inside of me, I was kicking his face and screaming “BITCH!!”

I am soooo Margaret Cho and pretty low standards and would normally just take the guy home and fuck the life out of him. Unfortunately he said he was a top and would not wanna be fucked in the ass. That, coupled with the barely cute factor and the fact that he was all too shifty-eyed, made me not wanna bring him home. Lucky for me the guy oozed confidence and just shrugged nonchalantly and said that he has other friends. With that, he sashayed out of McDonalds and I called Teddy and bitched to him about it.

Later that night, just as I was doing my nightly blog rounds, one guy who happened to live in the block next to mine wanted to come over. And Teddy told me how sorry he was that I would not be getting sex. Just as I told the guy to come over, another guy sent me SMS, wanting to come over. Hmmm, quite the conundrum. Which one do I wanna go for?

The former is short, balding, meaty and semi cute. The latter was tall, muscled and bald. Three guesses which one I chose. Correct. I went for the tall muscle Mary who is a bottom, which works for me. Told the other guy I suddenly had an elsewhere to be. Yeah, I know what you alls are thinking. Threesome. Nah. Wanted to enjoy Muscle Mary all to myself. We’ve met before and it was always hot.

I was in the middle of watching That’s So Raven (yeah, yeah, I watch Disney Channel, get over it…) when Muscle Mary showed up, looking all buffed up and fine…

Bangi Bangin' 2

I was like all “What the hell man?” coz I need my cutie sleep. I gotta work in the morning. I was fully hard now. I tried to make him stop but he still wanted to touch the hardness of me.

That’s it. I pushed him onto his stomach, put on a condom, lubed up and inserted myself into him. No tenderness. Just raw sex. I was half asleep but the warmth that enveloped me woke me up and I just fucked his brains out.

Half way through, I heard him say something again. This time, I heard it loud and clear. He wanted a position switch. That would mean an even longer fucking but I obliged. I turn him around, put his legs on my shoulder and fucked him in that position.

Now I can see his face. He was enjoying it. His face was contorted in pleasure and pain. I fucked him for a while until I realized that I needed sleep so I turned him around, on his stomach. I got on top of him and fucked him until I come.

After cleaning up, I tried to get some shut eye. But to no avail. The dude was still cuddly wuddly. And this time, he was grabby also. He was trying to grab my ass, as though telling me that he’d want some now. I totally went bitchy and slapped his hand away and told him that I really needed some rest coz I have to go to work in a couple of hours. He can have a go at my ass the next time we meet.

He seemed satisfied at the answer and left me alone the rest of the morning. When I say left me alone, I mean, he cuddled me all the way until he left in the morning. Argh!

Bangi Bangin'

Previously on Oxymoronic Existence…

Bangi Guy is back. He was in the area and wanted to meet me. It was a little over midnight but I was still awake so I told him to come on over.

He said that he was now based in Shah Alam, new place, new job, hence the quiet. He went to Tasik and did not get lucky so he thought he’d get lucky with me. I should have been pissed but it was late and I was horny. Okay, who am I kidding, I am always horny, and I remembered he was very good at the making out so I rolled out the red carpet for him.

Once he arrived, he went to freshen up. I was already in bed by that time. I asked if he wanted to spend the night and he said it would be nice because it was late to go back to Shah Alam.

So once that’s decided, he jumped into bed and we cuddled. He was extra horny because his hands immediately went down south. I pulled him on top of me and let him do his thing which he was really good at.

Did I mention that he was kinda short? He started by necking me. I love necking. Yes, I have a vampire fetish. Then, he went down to my nipples. Ooh, expert tongue. He licked me all over before he settled for my cock and he gave me a long drawn out blowjob.

After a while, I pull him off of me and got on top of him. I repeated what was done to me, but I added a slight twist. I licked down there and inserted a finger. He seemed to know what I want and asked for a condom. The last time we did it, he topped me and said that he could only take a cock in his ass for a few minutes only. Heh, he was not getting a cock in his for a few minutes only…

I lubed him up and inserted my cock. He moaned. I push through and stayed still for a while, letting him get used to the intruder. Once I felt him relax, I start to pump in and out. After a while, I heard him saying something but it was more like a raspy whisper. I did not hear him so I continued fucking his ass until I came.

After the clean up, we settled in and started to drift off to sleep. Unfortunately, the guy was a cuddler and he kept his paws on me the whole time. It was kinda warm, my room not air-conditioned and all, so it kinda bothered me and I did not really get to sleep much. In the end, I drifted to sleep. Finally. It was like 4 in the morning and I have to wake up in the morning to go to work.

Just I was about to drift into dreamland and meeting up Hugh Jackman, I felt a stirring. A great stirring that forced me to open my eyes. His hands were kneading and fondling my cock to life…

to be continued...

A New Man

I was surfing the Net Sunday night, on the prowl for some sort of adventure. I was bored. Okay, bored and horny. But the prowling was a bit unsuccessful so I left the laptop alone and watched TV.

During one commercial break, I checked up on my messages and got a hit from Guys4Men. Not a bad looking guy. So we exchanged messages for a while. I did not know what he wanted because he did not say what kind of guy he likes.

After a few messages, he said he was going offline so I just give my phone number in case he’s free to meet up or something. He replied saying that he was free that night and wanted to meet at my place. Good first sign eh?

I gave him directions and came right over. He lives in Tun Razak so it was not a problem for him to come to my place, even if it was 11 o’clock at night. Once he arrived, we sat down on the couch and talked. He was quite cute, slightly taller than me and smelled nice. Once we got to talking, he actually reached out and grabbed my belly. So now I know he likes em round.

We talked and he said he wanted to lie down. He put his legs up on the couch and maneuvered so that I would be in between his legs. Oh dear God.

His legs were so nice and warm and hairy. He actually had a nice body. Not too slim but not too flabby either. Just right. I just touched his thighs a bit and massaged here and there. I don’t know why but I was such a blushing virgin that night. Maybe it was because I was smitten. Heheheh.

He finally reached for my hand and put it on his crotch. Okay, I got the green light. So I began to feel up the groin, all the while getting a hard on myself. I opened his pants and underwear and saw the weapon. Nice. Has a slight downward hook. He undressed me and I started by licking his nipples.

Then I moved up to the neck. I guess it was a sensitive area because he tried to move away from my tongue but I persisted and he relented to the tongue assault. Then I went back to work on the nipples. He pushed me up until my chest meets his face and he licked my nipples while trying to reach for my ass.

Guess that means he is a top then. I was a little hesitant because I was not sure if my ass could take another fucking since I got that rough fucking Friday night. But he made me sat doggy style while he ate my ass. And, boy, did he eat it well. Top notch really. I hadn’t been eaten like that since… well, since last year. Hhehehe.

After we got everything ready, he tried penetration and I tried relaxing. The first time he went in was painful. After one or two jabs, his cock got out. The second time he stuck it in, it felt a bit okay and I could relax a bit. Then it got out again. So he turned me on my back, put my legs on his shoulders and inserted himself again. This time it was not painful. He even licked my nipples while pushing in and out of me.

It felt pretty good. He sooo was not rough and I guess he found my prostate because it felt great. When he stopped moving, I ground my ass. Yup, it was that good. When he came, he licked my nipples and tried to jack me to cum. Unfortunately, I don’t cum that way so I told him to stop it and just hug me. He remained in me all the while. Again, it felt soooo good.

After that, we both cleaned up. He hung out with me, listening to songs and we talked and we surfed the Net together. Sigh. It was quite a nice evening. Making me more smitten with him. Dayyymnnn.